I love words. My words. Your words. Our words. And powerful, is there anything as powerful as the written word? I currently blog on I Tripped Over a Stone... the stone being Fibromyalgia Syndrome that I have had for a little over 20 years. But Stone in the Road is going to be a collection of... Continue Reading →
Hello. It has always concerned me when people leave the blogosphere without a goodbye. I want to say, my process to prepare for the closure of my …Preparing for Closure.
I had charts, dates, names, links, more charts, historical references… more bull shit than you could wade through in a month ready to go in an ‘…Did You Get ‘Woke’?
It has been almost five months in my journey with no pain medication. How’s that working? Well, I’m still here. Many others are not. Their pain too great. Suicide rates are on the rise…
What is a flare like WITH the availability of a rescue pain medication, often called; The Evil Opioid?
A painful flare can be somewhat controlled and frequently curtailed with pain medication. The worst pain, treating it with an opioid, will last for two, possibly three days. At least for me. (Everyone is different). Pain medication allows you to get out of bed and function, appearing almost normal to friends and family. You will still be bedridden at the onset of a flare, but eventually, after a day or two of rescue medications, you will be able to carefully get up. You can join in life activities again with your pain levels decreased due to…
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Depression. It is said the third week in January is the worst for depression. I believe it. Also, I think once you have depression, a debilitating depressed mood can move in on you at any time of the year. Sneaky little mind trap just waiting to pounce and pull you into blackness.
What does an increase in a depressive mood feel like?
Fatigue! Fatigue is an excellent indicator of an increased depressive mood as is lower back pain! Did anyone else know this? (I always have lower back pain when I am feeling depressed, I never thought it had anything to actually do with depression.) I just read an article on The Mighty where the author talked about back pain and/or neck pain accompanying an increased ‘flare’ of depression. The whole idea of a ‘depression flare’ struck me as well. A depression flare. Well! I know how to deal with flares!
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We visited with my 93 year old Aunt and my Parents, the other day. As we were getting ready to leave, she said: “Stace, mark my words, this wedding is just what you need to get better”, right before saying “you look great, Stace!!” What I know she meant as a compliment and as a beacon of hope, instead, cut me like a knife. So before I go on to explain why seemingly innocuous comments (or not) can hurt so deeply, here’s 10 of the rudest/dumbest/most insensitive comments I’ve received since becoming chronically ill:
- How sick can she really be?
- You already knew you had Lupus-why would you be upset to see the same diagnosis in writing?
- Fibro is that disease that people get when they don’t want to work
- My friend had Fibro and cured it by eating celery
- Everything is normal, have you thought about seeing a Psychiatrist?
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I watch her move through the motions,
real emotion wearing a half-mask,
her eyes telling a story that’s never been spoken,
and probably never will,
seventy plus years of doing the next easiest thing,
not necessarily the next right one
it’s such a long road,
pebbles from our shared path littering my own,
and sometimes I feel guilty as hell for just being able to live my life;
there should be a word for this,
the way it feels to steal something that’s already yours
I did something last Sunday that broke my heart a little. It was something I needed to do, but it was still difficult. I told via The HOPE Plan for Fibromyalgia: A Self-Care Framework — Reclaiming HOPE
they’d loved one another for so long, and sometimes life began to feel a little rote, but when they came together, they forgot the lists and routines, they forgot who they were and what brought them together but she didn’t forget he was the most trustworthy, honest, and compassionate human she’d ever known, the reason […]... Continue Reading →
Hello, dear friends. I know that I need to update about many things, but tonight I just want to repost a poem I wrote almost a year ago. I wrote this poem about my aunt. She was a strong and beautiful soul whom I love very much. This morning, God called her home. While so […]... Continue Reading →